Pictures of nature that I've taken in the last few days.
Flowers in water and oil. And me.
Fluff on a stick
A bird. He was singing.
Sick wine-red moss.
Ett fält av violer. Man kan göra cool färgskiftande sirap på dem, blir sugen på att gå tillbaka och plocka hem lite
Fyr. Påminner om boken jag läser, Annihilation
Konstiga torkade bär jag hittade.
Söta små strandblommor och vacker mossa.
Och sist en bild hemifrån:
Vårt vackra rosa träd i blom.
This Thursday I went up the mizzenmast. I was cranked up in a swing. It's funny because the swing is just a simple swing like you have from a tree, a plank with a rope in an upsidedown Y shape. And the mast is just a whole pine tree which has been fixed up and plopped into the boat. So it's like a very technical version of just going on a tree swing.
Here is an artistic representation of when I was up there.
It felt like this song.
I got a scare on the first day of my new job. The work was fine, but listening to every person telling me how long they'd worked there - decades, lifetimes, I got the feeling, the terror of "oh my god, what if I end up working here all of my life". (No offense to them, I've just worked enough service to know my soul will shatter if I stay too long). The idea of working in service all my life makes me feel like a damp, dark water stain on an old beiging wall.
It made me want to reassure myself about my future.
I find it so hard to think of a job I want to do all of my life. So hard to see myself working in 1 field which will not make me hate my life. I took a break from my anxiety and wrote a message to a friend, and found a link to a Facebook sailing group in our old chat. There were a lot of boats that needed styrmän as crew. I realise that I like sailing, much. And I think being a styrman is a job I could actually enjoy. Yes, I would work real jobs for money doing it. But then I could go on sailing ships, tall and small, whenever, wherever I wanted to in my free time. Maybe I would even be proficient enough at sailing that I could get my own boat which I could live or travel in. Wow. That doesn't sound bad to me in this moment. I feel it might be too hands off though, maybe I'll do another boat job where you can fiddle around more.
But also, maybe there is no job that I will feel like doing for a lifetime. Maybe people aren't made to work the same job for 60 years. Capitalism has only been around for a few hundred years and whatnot. So maybe I'll switch it up a decade in :-)
Pictures of nature that I've taken in the last few days. Flowers in water and oil. And me. Fluff on a stick A bird. He was singing. ...
